We all have those moments. It’s very easy to ‘jump’ to conclusions rather than realistically examine the situation. I mean we have to deal with all these emotions! Then form them into a cohesive message so others have a chance at understanding us. Talk about effort.
Well I’m here to get the word out. Go ahead and do that. You will have missed out on the best you can be though. Don’t worry you can sit back and blame everything that got in your way. It wasn’t like you wanted to fall short of your potential after all.
For those of you who may be interested in a best practice for examining any situation you might be in… read on.
Step 1. Calm the fuck down.
Seriously. You’re alive just like everyone else who isn’t dead.
If you want to make your best decision possible, you need to be cool.
Step 1.1 (Don’t know how to calm down?) Just breathe.
Seriously inhale and realize you have air coming into your lungs.
Try to picture the whole process, and how cool that is.
At this point I’ve given you two easy things to do.
Consider that all you had to do was exist for a few seconds,
and then breathe which you’ve definitely been doing in your sleep your entire life.
Step 2. Don’t do anything rash. ( ie. don’t jump to conclusions)
I’m saying this from experience. Yes you only have on average 28,000 days to fuck up, but you can take a few moments to make sure you don’t rush into anything. If you do rush in and end up causing yourself stress and potentially harm, well you’ve effectively wasted more of those precious days.
You have to actually consider how you feel. In your situation/moment you are more often than not reacting. This reaction is
not always almost never well considered. Once you have done this you can be more certain that what you will do next is a better decision.
Step 2.2 Wear their shoes for a moment.
Realize that it often takes two to tango, unless you are really good at it
and then you can just go through the motions alone.
Which you will most likely be doing if you continue to ignore the other sides of your situations.
Don’t just blame them for seeing things ‘wrong.’
This is a fatal error of our human ways.
We think from our perspective and say, “Well this just doesn’t make any logical sense.”
By doing this you have failed to examine your situation.
You have to work with the other person, even if they are wrong. Of course we all make mistakes.
You might even discover that you indeed did something to help create your current situation.
3. Reassess. (Make the best decision you can)
You have now taken action to make sure you are in the best position to make a healthy decision.
Take all you’ve considered and act. Really. You have stepped back in awe at the beauty of life.
Whatever you decide from this point out will at least be more aligned with your individual desires.
There are some things to keep in mind while using this method for how not to point fingers.
It takes practice. With work you can process all these steps in REAL TIME.
That means as it’s erupting you can take action to prevent further damage.
From situation to situation you have to consider the length of time each step requires.
You may find that you have just got to get the fuck away from someone/situation in order to ‘Be Cool’ and just breathe. That’s perfectly fine. Unless you are on a plane. Then you just need to close your eyes. You get it though.
The whole point here is for you to figure out what is best for you and everyone involved.
It never grants any benefit to simply point the blame.
It is also important to consider the type of situation you are finding yourself in.
Is this a transaction or is it a relationship? Is this a one time thing or a recurring event.
All these must be considered when examining the situation for a best decision.